
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say self-care? For some, it might be along the lines of “luxury” or “day at the spa.” For others, words like “unattainable” or “guilt” or “what the hell is that?” come to mind.
Taking a break, for many of us in animal welfare, can be a scary thought. It can bring up a myriad of feelings. We feel such a sense of responsibility and commitment to animals, but we know there are so few people to do the work that we think we have to take on the weight of the world. People may be reluctant to step away – even for a moment – because of guilt.
But if you take a look at other helping professionals, self-care is actually an ethical obligation. So much so, that it’s written into their codes of conduct. For example, the American Counseling Association states that professional counselors must “engage in self-care activities to maintain and promote their own emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual well-being to best meet their professional responsibilities.” In other words, in order to help others in the most responsible and ethical way possible, counselors, social workers, nurses, and other helpers need to be at the top of their game. In these fields, self-care is not merely a suggestion – it’s an obligation.
But why is it so hard? Let’s look at some of the reasons behind the struggle to practice self-care:
· Responsibility and Guilt. From volunteers to veterinarians and all roles in between, those of us involved in animal welfare feel a profound sense of love and responsibility for the animals in our care. The downside is that we can often feel extreme guilt – even at the mere thought of taking time for ourselves.
· Understaffed and Overwhelmed. The lack of time, funds, staff or volunteers, and other resources can often lead to long hours and heavy workloads, leaving us too exhausted and overwhelmed to engage in self-care activities. We give so much to others; we feel we have nothing left to give to ourselves.
· Dedication to Animals. As a whole, the animal welfare community has a very deep, profound connection to animals. We also have a strong sense of justice and will fight to the death to protect those without a voice. This emotional investment can come with a hefty price, however, as we may tend to prioritize animal care over our own. There’s also a financial cost, as many tend to sacrifice self-care strategies such as therapy, a healthy diet, etc. in order to fund their passion for helping animals.
· Animal Welfare Culture. In some circles of animal welfare, the culture of self-sacrifice is alive and (not) well. Things like vulnerability and taking breaks are looked down upon or even seen as a weakness.
The Martyr Mentality
Anyone who’s been in animal welfare for any significant amount of time knows that there’s this unhealthy, yet pervasive belief that in order to be the best advocate or activist you can be, you must sacrifice your own well-being. This so-called martyr mentality can spread like wildfire throughout organizations, rescue groups, and the field as a whole, which creates a toxic culture where burnout is not only expected, but accepted.
I’ve given talks and workshops across the country on compassion fatigue, burnout, and trauma. I’ve lost count of how many times staff and volunteers have come up to me with their concerns about taking time for themselves or practicing self-care. They say things like, “My supervisor never takes time off,” or “My boss works 12 hours a day,” and express concern that if they take a day off – God forbid an entire vacation – they might be viewed as less dedicated to the cause or even selfish. And so this toxic combination of lack of role models, fear of judgement, infighting among different factions, and peer pressure continues to feed the guilt and fuel the flames of burnout.
But here’s the reality folks.
We must remember that for every person who leaves this field, whether from burning out or taking their own life, we lose a warrior that this battle desperately needs. We need to reinvent how we show up and show our commitment to the cause. But what exactly is self-care? It’s not what you might think. Sure a massage, beach vacation, or a day at the spa sounds nice, but self-care is so much more than these indulgences.
While self-care is defined as activities that help to promote health and wellness across different dimensions, different people have different reactions to the word. I think one of the barriers to practicing self-care is our interpretation of what it actually entails. The reality is that we all practice self-care to some extent: we all (I hope!) brush our teeth and shower at least once a day. That’s self-care! Let’s explore some other dimensions:
Physical Self-Care
Getting good quality sleep
Eating on a regular basis (i.e., multiple meals throughout the day)
Eating a healthy diet that includes lots of vegetables, fruit, and whole grains
Staying hydrated with water
Engaging in regular exercise
Getting preventative medical care (e.g., dental cleanings, yearly physicals)
Practicing good personal hygiene
Taking time off when sick or for rest and recreation
Stretching or getting massages, acupuncture, reiki, or types of bodywork
Engaging in hobbies outside of caregiving
Emotional/Psychological Self-Care
Learning to say “no” and practicing healthy boundaries
Using creativity as a way to express emotions (e.g., painting, dancing, writing, listening to music, etc.)
Practicing gratitude and self-compassion
Managing stress (e.g., meditation, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness, etc.)
Seeking support such as counseling or therapy-Challenging negative thinking patterns
Engaging in activities that keep your mind sharp, such as puzzles, reading, playing an instrument, or learning a new skill-Limiting screen time (e.g., cell phone, TV, video games, tablet)
Social Self-Care
Maintaining connections with friends, family, and others who are supportive and nonjudgmental
Spending quality time with your intimate partner
Limiting the use of social media
Evaluating relationships to determine if they “add” or “subtract” from your overall well-being
Spiritual Self-Care
Spending time in nature
Practicing yoga or meditation
Praying or attending a place of worship
Living in accordance with your values
Making time to be alone
Engaging in cultural rituals
Being involved in a cause you believe in
Finding meaning and purpose both in your personal life and your work with animals
Professional Self-Care
Taking breaks throughout your day
Learning new professional skills
Setting limits and boundaries with co-workers, clients, etc.
Maintaining a healthy work/life balance
Avoiding contributing to a toxic workplace (e.g., gossip, drama, etc.)-Having hobbies and interests outside of working with animals
Is there one particular area in your life you want to improve on? Is there something you could give up in order to add in more self-care? (e.g., reducing screen time each night by 15 minutes). If you’re looking for more ways to build resilience, be sure to sign up for my monthly newsletter here where I share quick tips and tricks on how you can manage compassion fatigue, burnout, and trauma and make your passion for animals sustainable.
-Jen
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