Several years ago, while working at the local animal shelter, a co-worker of mine came bursting through the door screaming, “I can’t fucking take this anymore!” I suggested we go outside and get some air. As he lit up a cigarette, he began to sob. “If one more person surrenders an animal today, I’m going to reach across the counter and strangle them. I just can’t do this anymore,” he told me, as tears streamed down his face.
If you are involved in animal welfare in any capacity, you can probably relate to this pain and frustration all too well. Dealing with an often ignorant public can make your blood boil to the point of exhaustion and emotional breakdown. Anger is a very common symptom of compassion fatigue. But anger is also a normal emotion, often associated with other feelings, such as fear, sadness, guilt, shame, loneliness, or hurt. In fact, anger often inspires and motivates us to fight for positive change – such as saving homeless animals.
But when our emotions get the best of us, we can end up causing harm to others as well as ourselves. Studies have suggested that excessive, extreme, or chronic anger can increase the risk of high blood pressure and heart disease.
So what is one to do when pissed off at the world? To get a grip on your anger, it’s helpful to understand what sets you off in the first place. In other words, see if you can identify some of your early warning signs:
Increase in heart rate
Rapid or shallow breathing
Clenched fists or jaw
Tight muscles
Feeling dizzy
Headaches
Stomach problems
Trembling in body or hands
Sweating
Feeling sad or anxious
Begin pacing
Face feels hot
Become aggressive
Throw or hit things
Become emotionally or physically abusive toward others
Yell or scream
Cry
Become quiet
Use sarcasm
Frown
Lose sense of humor
Chances are, you first learned how to deal with anger as a child. Were you allowed to express your anger or were you forced to stuff it down? Did you witness or experience verbal, physical, or sexual abuse and now find yourself blowing up? It has been suggested some common ways of dealing with anger, such as keeping it inside, venting, or engaging in really intense exercise can actually harm us in the long run. The best way to handle anger? Let it go.
Try some of these healthier techniques to help tame your temper:
Count to 10…or more
Listen to soothing music
Take a time-out
Use humor and laughter
Go outside for a walk
Draw or paint your anger
Practice deep breathing
Journal your thoughts
Use assertive communication
Limit your exposure to violence in the media (TV, movies, video games, Internet, etc.)
Write a letter expressing your anger and then destroy it. Tear it up, shred it, burn it, bury it!
Join a support group
Talk it out with a mental health professional